Confession is good for the soul, Part I.

Confession is good for the soul.  (Part I)

When I was in my early teens, I became identified as someone who was a bit “high strung.”    Has anyone ever referred to you as someone with that type of personality?   It was a personality trait that I really did not like about myself… and I can remember being in about the 8^th grade and wishing that I could be more peaceful. (How many peaceful 14 year old girls do you know?)  But I really wanted to be.    I would resolve at the beginning of the day to be peaceful… be less emotional, be someone who was not so easily upset or angered or offended… and each day I would find myself unable to live up to the task.  Not being able to change myself only served to frustrate and make me even more fragile.  I don’t think I was saved at that age… but I do remember talking to God even back then, and asking Him “Why can’t I be less like… well, like me?”

Fast forward through my life a bit.  Some bad decisions were made, my heart was broken by some people and situations, and wounds and baggage began piling up.  The thing is, when our wounds become the driving force behind our personalities, sometimes our character suffers.  In my case, every single decision I made was so that I could either avoid more pain, or avenge/relieve  the pain I was in.  This is a dangerous cycle… and one that many of us fall prey to.  Before we know what is happening, our motives and intentions behind our actions become a way of “fixing” things so that we don’t have to be in pain.  Or at their worst, cause us to bring pain to another person.  Unfortunately, always being worried about protecting myself and my feelings showed up in relational conflict, which I would then avoid because I had no idea how to deal with it- or something often referred to as the “martyr syndrome”.  I resigned myself to the pain that was sure to come from every relationship and situation I found myself in, and I made sure that everyone around me knew how much I was suffering so that they could have fun or have what they wanted.   This is not peaceful thinking, in case you were curious.

A funny thing happens when we ask God to show us things He wants to change in us… He starts doing just that.   He begins to reveal to us how our nature is directly in conflict with His, and we begin to feel “called out.”  This happened to me, several years ago. As I mentioned before, I began praying that God would “fix” me. I knew there were issues in my heart and my personality that really needed to be changed- and healed.     I needed to change.   God wanted to change me.  I was saved, but not pure.  The closet of my heart needed cleaning out.   This is heavy stuff but somehow, felt like exactly the thing I was supposed to do.  What I had been asking for , for so many years… the prayer to be a peaceful person, was in the process of being answered.    The first step, as always, is admitting the problems within.

To be continued.

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Prayer that moves God…

A few years ago, I began a journey with the Lord in understanding more about what prayer really is, and why it is a crucial element of our relationship with God.   I was led to take on a task that , while I had the heart for it, I did not have what most people consider the proper “skill set” needed to do it well.    The thought of leading others in worship, or leading others anywhere , for that matter, scared the daylights out of me- yet God was burdening my heart  for that very thing.   So… I began praying – hard- for God to make me into whoever it was that He needed, to fill the slot.

As of this writing, He has not turned me into a keyboard player, or a music theorist, or a songwriter. I have had many conversations with Him about these things.  He has, however,  brought me into a place of intimacy with Him..  given me the gift of hungering and thirsting after righteousness.  He has me in a place in this life where I am completely and fully dependent upon Him-   and He has taught me how to pray.

Aboout a year or so ago, God began to unpack James 5:16 for me, a section at a time.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” 

Before that time, I prayed earnestly ,  hoping God would hear me and come to my aide.  My prayer life looks very different, now.  I pray now with something I can only describe as  expectancy.   I no longer wonder if He hears me or is going to answer-   I pray knowing He is listening, and knowing He has the situation in His hands and He will act according to what He knows is best.   That is confidence, and faith, and trust that He IS GOOD.. and God loves to move on behalf of prayers like that.

So what about your prayer life?  Do you pray with a heart full of doubt?  As you pray , are you filled with worry that because of this thing or that thing happening in your life, God won’t hear or won’t help?  Or maybe.. He really doesn’t care that much about your pain or your situation?  Or maybe He just expects me to figure it out on my own without bothering Him with this?    I used to pray like that.  Not anymore.  God has taught me that He loves me more than that.  He wants to teach you the same thing.   🙂

My first step was simply asking Him to show me who HE wanted me to be.  Then He took over.   And he has made me over.. and over, again.  That’s how He works.

I am praying for you right now… that your prayer life would become everything God wants it to be.  Alive, vibrant, and full of evidence of His promises.

Blessings-

Cheryl

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So this was Christmas….

I have always loved the Christmas season.  I still love celebrating Jesus..  and watching my children learn more every year about the reason why Christmas is so significant to us.  I love giving gifts, and Christmas lights.   I don’t love the insane busy-ness that always comes with the season, though.  But.. I will say this.  I loved every moment of spending time with the folks in this picture , on Christmas eve.  This is a pic of some of the very awesome members of our worship team at Lifecoast.   I have watched them grow up in the worship environment, and they touch my heart and inspire me to not only lead better, but to follow Jesus better.   I love these people!

 

 

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